Who Am I?

I was an average student in my sleep but never tried to apply myself. I dropped out of most everything I did that challenged me or would have helped me in this world. I never pursued my dreams. I never thought I was good enough to succeed in what I wanted to do. I never went to college. Though I've always wanted to. I never believed I could. I was afraid of rejection, afraid of failing, afraid of the unknown. I never tried. Without trying, I could never fail.

Where did these fears come from? Could be from being rejected from my own father as a child. From not having friends to push me to try harder. From not pushing myself to try. From lacking the confidence in myself. From letting fear into my life. But mostly from letting fear rule my life. Because I feared, I never tried. Because I never tried, I failed.

But WHO AM I?

I am a dreamer. I now believe my dreams matter and they can come true. I have goals that I feel I can accomplish. I am no longer afraid to fail. I am only afraid to not try. 

I am a wife to my loving husband of ten years. I am a mother of two beautiful children that mean the world to me, Emily 8 and Noah 6. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a Baptist. I am the VBS director at my church for the past six years now. I am a Primary Sunday School teacher since Nov 2014 and the Hot Tots Teacher (Toddler Jr Church) for 16yrs before that. I am a Faith Bible Institute student for the past two years. One more year until I graduate.

My goals:

- To lose 60 more pounds but ultimately to be healthy and athletic like I once was. 

- To start Olympic College Fall 2016. I love to learn. It's time I learn some more. 

By accomplishing these goals, I feel that I will find the me I know is inside. The me I've been afraid to let out and succeed in this world. For once, I am not afraid of who I am.