Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Parenting & Children

These are just a few things that I have observed over the years through friends and family. I'm not trying to attack anyone or offend anyone, if you don't agree with me that is fine, you can even leave me a comment and tell me why or why not OR you can act like I never even wrote this blog. I won't get offended if your view{opinion} is different then mine.

In MY OPINION there are three types of parents & children.

{1} The 'Over-Protective' Parents:
These parents tend to shield {or protect} their children from everything. Pain, drugs, sex, language, etc. They shield them so well that their child looks for answers elsewhere and most become very rebellious and wind up doing the things their parents were trying to protect them from.

{2}The 'Laid-Back' Parents:
These parents often don't shield their children from anything. They would rather be their child's best friend then their parent. Their children can do 'no wrong' and are 'just finding themselves'. These children are typically more rude to those they are around and can become very rebellious as well. Their rebellion stems more from wanting their parents to 'be parents' and to set some boundaries, not just be another friend.

{3} The 'Just-Right' Parents:
These parents realize that they can't protect their child from everything. They give their child SOME freedom but they have set boundaries and they are always right there when their child 'falls'. They don't promote sex and drugs etc, but they don't try to hide the fact that those things DO EXIST and no matter what they say or do their child may still give them a try. These children typically have the best morals and are the most giving and considerate to those they are around.

Now I'm sure your thinking that I'm wrong. That's fine, you're entitled to your opinion as am I. I didn't say that you couldn't have good, rebellious or average kids in any of the three 'categories', I'm simply saying that these are the 'typical' outcomes that I have observed through my friends and family. I've had friends come from 'Over-Protective' parents that were and/or are good kids. I've also had friends come from 'Laid-Back' parents and they actually have some really good morals and are very sweet people. Then I've also had friends come from 'Just-Right' parents that were/are very rebellious and rude.

The point of all this is to say that you need to raise your children the way you, as parents, see fit for your child. It doesn't matter what other people say or what their opinions are... you are the one that will answer to God for your parenting. If you don't want your child to watch something because there may or may not be subliminal messages in it, then don't let them watch it, same goes for music and so on and so forth. If you want others opinion on how they are raising their children or why they won't allow certain things that's fine, get their opinion but then FORM YOUR OWN! It doesn't matter how spiritual or unspiritual you are, you need to do what's right for you and your family. In the end your child will ultimately decide how they're going to live and who they're going to be.
I do believe that society puts pressure on us all but I also believe that the final outcome of what your child chooses to do stems mainly from the type of parent you are. There are no 'Perfect Parents' out there, though I'm sure we all would like to be one.

My husband and I CHOOSE to raise our children in a God fearing home, going to church three+ times a week{health pending}, because that's what we believe and feel is right for our family. We won't protect them from everything because we can't. All we can do is pray that God will help guide us in our journey of parenting and that our children will grow up believing in God and have good morals. You don't have to believe in God, I will not push that on anyone, but I will ask you this.... what is the harm in believing there is something greater out there {ie. God} and find out there isn't, then not believing and finding out there is. You have a much higher price to pay without God.

I know I kind of went a little off topic that last paragraph but I felt the need to add that in there. Please leave me comments... I WANT to know your opinions.


Alice said...

Good post. As I read it, I kept thinking to myself how much you have grown over the past few years. It is a blessing to see the love that you and Richard have for each other as well as for your little ones.
I basically agree with what you have said, but I might add..We can tell our kids what they should and shoudn't do, but they will learn far more from our example.
It's more about our WALK than our TALK.
I have been a parent for over 15 years and I am still learning what works and what doesn't. Thank God He left us the Instruction Manual.
I love how you said that we shouldn't "overly shelter" our children but we still need to "shelter" them. Balance is the key.

Shannon said...

Thank you. Balance is definitely the key. I agree that we need to lead by example. We can't just tell our kids not to do something then go out and do it ourselves.

Lindsey Armstrong said...

Thanks for the post Shannon...I love what you wrote!
BTW...Jacob kept asking for Emy to come to his house today...

Shannon said...

He's such a sweety. Emily would love to come over again. :-)

Hazel Eye Beauty said...

Shannon,, awesome post! It's like you have been reading my mind! :)~
I agree with Alice, We need to be THE examples for our kids! Let's not be hypocritical. Especially when they become teens! They become smarter about those things. ie; dont dust your bible off on Sundays and put your Christian face on. I know at one time or another in our Christian walk we have all been guilty of this, including me! But on the flipside, I concure with you on not sheltering your kids in a padded box thier whole up-bringing. when they go out into the world, they do want to rebel and experience things. And most don't know how to react/cope with thier surrounding, and tend to "go-with-the-flow" I know from experiences with friends and just from being a mom for close to 20years!! wow I'm old! Anyhoo, not to make light of this terrific post, but please ground your kids in the word, be a good example, give them a little space to make choice/mistakes.. because otherwise they will never learn from them, or know that you as a parent were right!!!